Alone

After unexpectedly getting called out of town for work, my husband is gone. I am alone for the first time in many months. I have been spoiled lately, with him working from home. It used to be common for him to be gone for 5 days at a time a couple of times a month. I was used to being alone at night, doing all the childcare and housework. But lately I have been used to having him here. Knowing he will be with me at night, and I will sleep soundly with him by my side. I feel like it is so very quiet and lonely tonight. I don't want to go to bed because it will be cold and quiet. Too quiet. I dread the nights the most.

I can hear J snoring. Poor girl has a really stuffy nose. Her breathing is loud and labored. I will go adjust her pillow to try to get her nose to clear a bit. I know how she feels, as I am getting over a bad cold myself. B is wrapped up in his big blanket. I call him red riding hood, he loves to wrap his whole head in his comforter and sleep with just a little breathing hole. I always go in before I go to bed and unwrap his head, to find him all wet with sweat. His long hair sticking to his head all warm and flushed with heat. My boy is such a sweet thing. And J is usually drooling on her pillow. She is not a sound sleeper like her brother. When I check on her, she will sometimes talk to me. I whisper I love you to each kid and B never responds except for a change of position and mumble. J will occasionally whisper back to me that she loves me too. She sometimes has whole conversations with me with her eyes closed.