Should I stay or should I go?

Well, hi there! I am debating whether to continue my blog. For many reasons, I am unable to post regularly. I don't have much to say, I'm busy, I am on facebook, I just don't feel inspired. Not sure what it is. I started out trying to do this as a record of my life and my kids. If I could keep doing that, or start doing that I should say, I'd love to keep it open. I want to write down the things I know I'll eventually forget. I love the "idea" of blogging. However, loving and doing are different right? So, for now I'm just keeping it open and trying to be more on top of writing. If I fail, I may have to stop. I am on facebook and keep up with that, but that isn't really a record of my life. It is just little snippits here and there. Anyway.... on to the big updates:

Jenna:
Jenna is 6 1/2 and full of energy. Jenna is an all or nothing kind of kid. She is very enthusiatic and knows what she wants. She started piano lessons and had her first recital last week. So cute! She had only had about 3 lessons so it was great she got up there by herself and played. She played a cute little song called "beep, beep". She wore a fancy dress and we got her a "good luck" balloon and some roses for luck. I played as a kid and it was so fun to see my daughter up there playing. I want to get Bret started in piano once wrestling slows down. Since we have a piano I want both kids to at least try it.
Jenna loves first grade. She is very social and has many best friends. She enjoys reading and attempts to read chapter books. She wants so much to do things that bigger kids do. I'm in no hurry for her to grow up!! She loves to sing and dance. She loves to draw and write. She likes to play restaurant and with her baby dolls. She has so many baby dolls, her favorites being her "Baby Alive" ones. She uses the money she saves up to buy dolls usually. She tries to keep her room clean, and to her, that means little piles of things all over. She has her own way of setting up her spaces and she loves her stuff. She says that her favorite place is her room.
Jenna loves her brother but they fight a lot lately. She wants to play with him but they tend to argue and both have strong personalities. I really want them to get along and we are working on it!!! When they do play nice, Jenna will come to me and say "Bret is playing with me nicely!" and she is overjoyed. She really does look up to him.

Bret:
Bret turned 9 a few weeks ago. 9!! So old and I can't believe it!!! He had his party just how he planned it. Here at the house with his 5 close friends, playing laser tag in the basement and wii. He had it all planned in his head and stuck to what he wanted despite us trying to urge him to have it elsewhere (You know how parties at the house are such a mess!) They rotated playing laser tag and Wii and all the kids really seemed to love it. I find that 9 year old boys are really pretty well behaved. They listen (for the most part) and didn't destroy anything. We had Bret's favorite dessert, chocolate chip cookies with ice cream on top. I set up a sundae bar and had lots of fun toppings and they all made their own sundae. We also had cupcakes but the boys all wanted just ice cream. Bret admitted that when people sing to him "it is hard not to smile". So cute! He also brought donuts to school, this is kind of a tradition for him also. It is one of his favorite treats and he requests them each year for his b-day treat at snack time. He loves video games and we have had to really limit his time. Now, they are for weekends only. He seems to lose focus on school work if he gets to play during the week. He is doing well in school, but always was thinking of when he could play his games. So, this has worked better. He also likes to build and play bionicles and just spent his birthday money on amazon for some new ones. He asks me daily if they shippped and is patiently awaiting their arrival.
He is getting towards the end of wrestling season and we have the big state tournament March 13-15. We go to a hotel and have fun with the other families. The boys have such a good time hanging out. Bret loves to play with friends and hang out with other kids. He is my strong willed child and once he gets an idea in his head it sticks. He tends to try to boss the rest of us around, and will probably be a leader of something someday. He says he is going to develop video games as an adult. He also really enjoys working with special ed kids at school. A least 4 teachers have approached me about how good he is with these kids and how patient. It makes me so proud. I know some kids are scared or nervous around other kids that are "different" than them, but Bret helps them and loves to get to know them.

Me:
Working 3-4 days per week, it is going pretty well. Some days better than others. It is a long learning process. I'm grateful to have a job as nurses are not having an easy time lately. There have been layoffs around here and no jobs really out there. There are lots of hiring freezes. I never thought nursing would be like this!!! I am exercising 3-4 times per week at the YMCA. I joined a few weeks ago and love it. I have not changed my eating like I should so that is the next part!! I also spend time reading, cleaning/fixing up the house, volunteering at the kids school, and driving the kids around. I am going on a girls night tomorrow at the MOA. Can't wait. It's been quite the week with my husband out of town for work, big snowstorm yesterday, and just lots to do!!!!

That is life right now!!!!

Frigid

I am still around, still alive up here in the frigid north. I am telling you, it has been below zero degree for most of the last week, and with windchill it is about -3o, no lie. It is cold. So cold that you don't even want to step outside. Getting the kids ready for school is a chore because they have to get so bundled up and we can't walk and have to drive in every day. I drop them off right at the door so they don't have to be out long. And then they don't get to have outdoor recess so the whole school is full of kids with all their pent up energy. I'm hoping for a warm front soon, even something above 0 would feel warm right now!
Christmas is coming so soon and I still have a few gifts to buy. I have to wrap and prepare the kids gifts. I have to work 4 hours on xmas eve and 8 hr xmas day. I am a little bummed but I am off at 3pm on xmas eve and that is the day we do most of our celebrating. I also know that next year I will have it off! YAY! It helps that I get paid a lot extra to work that day, and I can pay for most of the gifts we bought just by working one day.
I have been busy with work and wrestling season has started. I am the team photographer so I'm busy with that. We have tournaments each weekend and always on the go! I am trying to find something to keep J busy, piano maybe or gymnastics. She really is happy just being at home with me when she isn't at school. She loves school but likes being with mom too! B is loving being with his wrestling buds again. He is growing so fast, almost 8 yr old.
Wishing everyone a happy holiday!

America has spoken

I am beyond happy with the election results. I waited anxiously for months for this day. Never have I been so excited about a presidential candidate. I have always voted. I have always tried to be informed about politics. However, I have never CARED as much as I do today. I have never been so nervous and excited about an election. I have been an Obama supporter from the very earliest days of his campaign. I never considered the alternative. Maybe I'm stuck in my ways, but I'm a true democrat at heart and always will be. Yes, I voted for Gore and Kerry but I never felt as much hope as I do now for Barack Obama. I finally feel like we have a truly good person in the white house. A good man, a good leader. I have nothing against John McCain. I think he is a good man also. I think he has worked hard, and served his country. I would only want the best for either candidate if they won. I would never have voted for him, but I don't have anything against him (well maybe the Palin selection but that is another post!) Anyway, the night is over and I'm looking forward to a new tomorrow. Obama has brought hope to so many and we may be on our way to a brighter future. God Bless America!!!

hello! Happy Halloween!

We might have a "nice" weather halloween this year for once. It is in the 60's I believe, probably 50's by tonight. But much better than the frigid weather we have most years. I am looking forward to a fun night and am happy and grateful to have work off. J is going to be a witch and B a demon type creature. This is the first year he really wanted something kind of scary. Hope he doesn't scare the little kids. J has a parade at school in an hour or so, she is a cat. They had to dress up like a story book character. They can't actually celebrate "halloween" (dumb) so the younger kids do this up to 1st grade. B is too old now I guess... :(
Not much too exciting in our lives. I am still working hard and bringing in a paycheck sure is nice. I now make money to cover my monthly credit card bill and most of the house payment. It feels good. Hubby changed his job also to be an independent contractor rather than working for his employer so he is making more per hour as well. So, hopefully in the future we can save up a little more, and have a little extra for things such as trips etc. I really want to build a house someday but with the housing market that isn't looking promising for a while.
We finished up football and have a couple more basketball games left. Then wrestling starts Dec 1. J may take up gymnastics this winter. I've been doing aerobics classes this week and am so sore. It feels good but reminds me that I really should stay active on a regular basis. I'm going to try not to eat too much chocolate tonight.
Wish me luck.
Happy Halloween!!!

Update

I am getting ready to go to bed after a long week of being a single parent. Hubby gets home tomorrow night, after being gone an entire week. I worked 2 days since he's been gone and have been lucky enough to have my parents help out. But I'm exhausted. I just don't sleep well alone and plus with staying up late for work 2 nights and getting up early for school I just am sleep deprived. I don't ever nap either. I should, but there is never enough time. I have so many other things I need to do.
J has a field trip tomorrow and I am really kind of sad because I didn't get picked to go. Only 5 parents were allowed to go and I wasn't chosed from the drawing. I have gone on every field trip of the kids except one for B (also didn't get chosen!) and I just feel like something is missing. I think she is ok with it but we will see tomorrow. I can tell she is a little nervous but she hasn't cried or anything. She seems to be looking forward to it, but she is a creature of routine and this will be out of her normal comfort zone. Plus, my kids walk to school so she isn't used to the bus. I'm hoping and praying it goes well for both of us. I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck all day not being with my baby.
B is done with football and enjoying some time off to just hang out and play with friends. Wrestling starts in December. He loves to play with friends every day and is such a social kid.
My job is going ok. I am starting to feel like the honeymoon is over and reality is setting in. I am nervous to be on my own (in a month or less) and have not felt confident lately. I'm hoping that in time that feeling goes away. I know all new RN's go through these feelings but it is hard.
Today I spent way too much money. Got both kids winter coats at Old Navy. I was not thinking last spring to buy some while on clearance. Oh well. They seem to be of good quality and may last 2 years. I have to get boots for B. I did find some for J on clearance last year. My requirement is that they have a removable inside. I will probably spend at least $30 on those. I have to make sure I have snowpants for both kids also.
I also bought myself a pair of black lined suede boots. I have a brown pair I wore a lot last year and know I'll wear these. They were $30 at Target. Not terribly expensive but more than I like to spend on really anything!! But I really know I will use them and they will match my winter coats. They are just so warm and cozy I wear them everywhere.
I have tomorrow off. I am meeting a friend to do a scrapbooking calendar class. I also have to pay some bills, clean up around the house, and watch the debate. I've worked every other debate so this will be my first one I get to watch. Looking forward to it, even though they never seem to give any straight answers. I got my Obama sign and t-shirt delivered this week. I was thinking they were not going to come as orders are backed up but just in time to get some use out of them a couple weeks. I put the sign up a couple days ago, and I think I'm the only one with an Obama sign in my neighborhood. Not many people have up presidential signs but the ones I've seen are all McCain. We live in a pretty conservative area I guess. I also heard that you can't wear any t-shirts etc to the polls or they won't let you vote? Any truth to that?? I probably wouldn't anyway, but that is interesting.
Almost midnight, so good night!

Election

Well, election time is just around the corned. I'm really sick of the ads on TV. I would totally respect any candidate who would just refuse to sink to that level of "he did this, she did this, this person is the worst person in the whole world, how could you ever vote for him/her". I don't even pay attention anymore. Hate it.
Anyway, I'm a total Obama voter. Nothing will change my mind. I have been a fan of his ever since he first started to be known. I seriously am wishing and praying he wins. I don't dislike McCain or Palin, I just don't see anything in them that would make me vote for them. I think they all have their faults, as we all do. And all we can do is try to make the best choice and vote. EVERYONE NEEDS TO VOTE!!!!
I'm anxiously awaiting voting day and you should be too!

My beautiful kids

Sometimes I just have to sit back and remind myself to slow down and treasure the moments. My kids are growing so fast before my eyes. It sometimes is hard to remember when they were babies, toddlers, even preschoolers. They are just developing into these wonderful little people. Jenna is 6 now and I love how independent she is becoming. She still definately loves her momma but she goes to school every day and is doing so well. She is a highly emotional kid who thrives on routine, consistency, and limits. She needs boundaries and a place to let go (home). She is able to behave really well at school but her outlet is home where she sometimes has to have a little "break down" or emotional time. I am proud of how well she does and how she follows rules and listens. She can be challenging as she likes things a certain way "her way" and she doesn't always get that. She is probably the most inflexible member of our family (somewhat like her father!). She has the loudest voice and most demanding personality. But all these things make her my girl. She is almost everything I am not. This is what keeps me on my toes. Despite her challenges, she is loving to the point of wanting to be next to me as much as possible. I sometimes call her "shadow" due to her always being with me. She loves to draw, play with dolls and friends, and read. She admires her big brother, even when he doesn't want her to. She is such a sweet and loving child!

Bret is 8 and has transitioned to wanting his mom to keep her distance (especially at school). He is so funny in that if I am at the school he will look at me out of the corner of his eye and give me a little wave but nothing too dramatic. Luckily, he is still ok with me volunteering at school and even asked me to have lunch with him last week. We aren't yet to the age where I'm too embarassing!! Bret is a passionate child whose brain is always working. He is always thinking of things and planning. He loves books and usually has a couple favorites that he is looking at. He isn't necessarily a big reader but he loves intricate illustrations and studying them. His favorite are monsters, dragons, and Where's Waldo books. He told me "I bet that illustrator is really proud of these drawings!". His personality is more like mine, laid back. Not much bothers Bret and he goes with the flow. Change is ok with him and he does not get upset, even at times he should! He loves to play with his peers and they can spend hours playing in the backyard. He also loves video games and the computer. He is active in sports but also likes downtime at home. He is such a smart kid, and funny too. I just love both of my kids so much and wish I could bottle them up at each age so I could go back and just remember.