Real Life RN

It is so weird to be a real RN now. I think back to all the years of classes. The General Biology, the General Psych, then finally entering nursing school. The nervous anxiety of clinical days, the first time I took someone's vital signs. I remember the transition from first year to second year student. How I felt more confident but still "just" a student nurse. I felt as though I would never be one of those "real" nurses, who had the RN behind their name. Who could make decisions and take care of patients on their own. Well, I have arrived. I am a real nurse now. I am responsible for my patients and have my own license on the line now. I am able to take out medications on my own and give them without an instructor or preceptor with me. No one checks to make sure I have the right medication or that I am verifying the right patient. I am all on my own (I still have a preceptor but she lets me do things independently a LOT). It is nervewracking and cool all at once. I check things a million times because the last thing I want is an error. I question myself and I ask questions. I sometimes have to tell myself I can do this, I earned this, I know what I am supposed to do and I just have to DO it. I am smart enough and I am a good critical thinker. I don't know if I'll ever get past the fact that I have people's lives in my hands. Being an emergency room nurse has it's own set of challenges and obstacles. As a new RN it is a scary place. It forces me to think fast, and to make decisions. It forces me to use all of my skills and learn what I need to know to be a safe nurse. It is a very steep learning curve but I think I'm up to the task.