So exhausted but feeling great!

I am up at 11pm and exhausted. DH had to leave on a business trip so again I have the house empty (besides 2 sleeping kids), too quiet and I dread going up to bed. I should be in bed because I had clinicals this weekend and I am so tired. I was up both Saturday and Sunday at 5:10 am. I am not an early morning person and this is a time of day I do not ever see! I was also up most of Friday night. I had to go to the hospital at 4pm and go over my patient charts so I could write my care plan. I was there for about 2 hours and then returned home to spend a little time with the kids, get them to bed, and write my care plan. I was up until about midnight, but then couldn't sleep once I got into bed. My mind was just spinning from all that thinking!! I got to interact with may different patients this weekend. I had 2 patients of my own because the first one left on Sat so I got another one Sun. I felt like I really got to know them and help them. I also helped out on the floor with some other patients. Right now we are pretty limited to what we can do but it is still just a great learning experience. My feet and back are so tired from being on my feet all day (I am not used to that either!!) but weirdly it is good to feel tired. It is good to feel challenged and busy. It's been too long since I've felt that. As wonderful and fullfilling as my children are to me, they don't need me as much as they used to. Plus, they are spending some great quality time with their dad. They are growing closer to him, and learning that mommy has to leave sometimes to help other people. Don't get me wrong, they still are, and always will be, my #1 priority. I miss them terribly when I'm at school and the hospital, but I truly know that I am pursuing this for a reason. I am going through all this schooling, money, time, pain, because I am meant to be a nurse. I truly believe this.