Swelling with pride for my big boy!

Saturday January 28 was a very exciting day for our family, especially my son B! It happens to also be my dad's birthday (he turned 62). B entered his very first wrestling tournament. He is almost 6 years old and has been going to wrestling practice since early December. We weren't sure if he was really ready for competition, but he surprised us all by winning his group and getting 2 wins, both being pins! We are so very proud of him. The look on his face when he won was just priceless, and when they gave him this huge shiny trophy, my heart just about burst from my chest. He was the cutest thing I ever saw. My husband was a wrestler as a kid, and he was so thrilled with B. I know it is about having fun, but winning his first match just gave him such a confident boost, and made us all so happy, I am just so happy for him. I know he can do anything he sets his mind to and I am so proud of him.

To top off our fantastic day, we got home to his report card, which was a great improvement from last quarter. All around, it was a great day!

Movie Review

Well, for the first time in FOREVER, the hubby and I got a babysitter. Not just the grandparents but a real babysitter who would put the kids to bed, and we saw Broke*back Moun*tain. I had not heard a lot about the movie, except it was supposed to be very good and there were some graphic scenes. There were not really any too graphic scenes in my opinion. I thought it was very tastefully done. It really was a great movie. It was a true love story about 2 people, and it didn't matter that they just happened to both be men. It was really a touching movie. I thought He*ath Led*ger did a great job in this movie. I have always been a fan of his, but this movie really showed he is a great talent. Ja*ke Gyllenha*ll also did great, I loved them both in this movie. I recommend this to everyone, and hope it helps the world see how honest true love really is.

Nursing school may not happen this year.

I heard from someone who heard from someone else that to get into the program I want to get into (the night and weekend program), that you must have all your prerequisites complete and have practially a 4.0. The 4.0 part is fine, I get all A's, but I am in a class right now so that isn't considered complete, and I also have another class that I have not completed (general psych) So...my chances are not looking good, at least this year. I still turned in my application on friday. I really thought I had a chance this year. I know there is still a small chance but it looks like I'll have to wait until next year. So, I need a plan for what to do with a year off from school. I will most likely get my nursing assistant certification this summer and find a job as a nursing assistant next year part time. Probably every other weekend or something like that. I would prefer to work in a hospital as opposed to a nursing home. BUT, like all things, hospitals like experience and the only place to get the experience is at a nursing home. From what I gather, that is where most N.A's get their start. Maybe it won't be so bad. It will be experience, and a learning one at that! We have a big nursing home here, I think it is dementia patients mainly. Could be interesting. I know they are usually hiring, and have a tuition reimbursement program (will pay for the cost of the N.A. program if you stay with them a specific time period). So, I guess that is my plan. If I don't get in. Which I may. But probably not. And what sucks is that I don't find out until May 1! Keeping my fingers crossed.

credit card theft

I recently found out that someone has been using my credit card number, as well as my name, and I don't know what to think about this. I feel horrible, and angry. It is someone in Florida and I have no clue how they got my number, I'm assuming over the internet since it is the card I use primarily for internet purchases. It makes me scared, I never thought it was really that easy to get someone's number, but obviously it is. We shred all our documents here so I don't think it was someone searching the trash. I have no idea. They even changed the address and phone number with the credit card number, and cancelled the old card, and got a new card in my name. This way, the card company would not be calling me or sending me bills that I would question. I am scared they have my SS # and they will try to do other things in my name. I have a fraud alert out on my name for 90 days but how do I protect myself from further damage? I feel so violated and angry. If anyone has any experience in this, let me know!

Things going well otherwise. I've been doing some exercise almost daily, and I am eating better. I am back in school Tues and Th nights, and so that keeps me busier and helps me eat less. I am feeling good about things, and hope to keep it that way.

The Cheetos are staring me in the face....

I will not eat them. I will not eat them. I want to, as I am hungry. I am used to eating more food than I need to, therefore I will have to go through a few hungry days to shrink my stomach. It really would be easier to rid my house of all junk food as Dr. Phil recommends in his book. However, this is not so easy for me. I have my stepdaughter living her (she is 18) and she loves chips and ice cream. She just moved here and I want to have food she likes. I know it would benefit everyone to eat healthier, but she is a tiny thing (everyone in this house is on the small side except me who is very average). My husband plays basketball and is pretty fit, and does not need to lose any weight. He also enjoys chips and salsa and ice cream and sweets. My 2 little ones are also on the low end of the scale for weight and so I try to keep somewhat healthy food for them. Problem is that I also love granola bars, cereal, cheese etc. So, how do I overcome the strong urge to eat the junk????? I will not do it today. I will overcome for this day, but can I keep going??? Can I resist every time? I want to eat healthy, I want to feel good about myself. I don't want to sabotage myself each and every time. I am sick of it. I just LOVE food. I love all kinds of food, and I love to eat. I don't know WHY I love it, I wish very badly for it to take a back seat in my life. I know my relationship with food is NOT healthy. I really want to change it. I want to eat to live, not vice versa.

Today I had cereal before church, and of course hubby wanted to go to Embers afterwards. I did well, I think. I ordered the turkey burger and ate half of it, with only one side of the bun. I also had a small side salad but didn't eat much of it. I then had some 100 calorie cookies this afternoon. I need to add more fruit/veggies. Maybe for dinner I'll try to do that. I also drink hot tea and water throughout the day. Restaurants are hard too, too much temptation.

Anyway, de-lurker week was not too busy here! I had 3 posts. I am guessing maybe 5 people read this blog. Maybe I need to post more on other blogs to get more traffic here. Who knows. I guess it doesn't really matter too much. I just expected a few more comments. Oh well...I will keep on going and keep on trying and keep on writing... :)

What is the key to a healthy lifestyle???

I have been struggling with this question lately. What makes one person healthy and fit, and the next person unhealthy and overweight. Why do some people find it easy to maintain a healthy lifestyle (weight, fitness etc) and some people struggle with it?? I find it facinating that we all KNOW what it takes to be healthy. We all WANT to look good and feel good, right?? But why do we sabotage ourselves and make ourselves feel bad by not exercising and overeating??? I do not get it.....

I know what will happen if I eat too many Doritos. I will very BRIEFLY enjoy the taste of them, and the feeling that gives me. But then, minutes after I binge, I will feel horrible, I will feel gross, why do I do it???

12 lb by my 32nd!

Well, I was reading about Kelly's awesome weight loss (see The Woman Wonders on my blog roll) and decided to set a little goal for myself. This is my goal: to lose 12 lb by my 32nd birthday on April 8. That may not sound like a lot of weight but for someone who has only gained and lost the SAME 5 POUNDS for the LAST 3 YEARS, that is a big goal to shoot for. It would mean I would weigh less than I have for AGES and it would be a healthy weight for me. I am not overweight now, but I am chubby. I do not like the way I look in clothes. I am embarassed of my mid section. I actually am not all that proud of my body. I have terrible body image, and I have issues with binge eating and emotional eating. There, I am saying it out loud. I am the one person responsible for the way I look and the way I eat. I would appreciate hearing any weight loss stories or words of wisdom.

From what I hear, it is DE-LURKING week!

That means if you read my blog, please let me know! I get VERY FEW comments, and would loev to know if people are actually stopping by. I really really would LOVE a comment from you, so please de-lurk and post me a note! I will update my blog roll with any new blogs I hear about from my comments. And I am excited to see if anyone new pops by! :) Thanks!

Back into real life

Well, starting yesterday we got back into the school schedule for the kids. Both J and B had school and tomorrow the same. It feels strange getting up and getting everyone ready again after our 1.5 week break. Next week will be even busier with my school starting two nights a week. But routine is what we thrive on, and it's nice getting the kids into bed earlier and up earlier, getting myself ready for the day, and keeping a schedule. I'm doing well on my eating. No binges. I am trying to track my points and I do pretty well up til dinner time. I do not eat anything big after dinner. I do have some sugar free coffee drink or tea or maybe a couple hershey kisses, but it is important for me to not really had access to food after dinner time. If I chose to have a small dessert I must eat it right after dinner and be done with my eating for the night. If I start any other eating later in the night, it spells trouble for me. I am best off just ending my eating at a specific time, no ifs ands or buts. I just need to keep it going, just make it a habit. I know I'm eating over the recommended points for my size, but I'm eating WAY less than I was and I know that has to be better and slowly I can phase out the stuff I shouldn't be eating. Plus, I could do better at portion control, but I do not want to do this drastically because then it will backfire on me.

I plan to ride my bike for 15 min after I'm done here, and also write a bit in my other journal. I have been treating myself to a long hot shower in the evenings, and doing my full facial ritual each night. I think my skin is looking better.

I colored with the kids tonight in their coloring books. B is WAY into coloring, and is so cute, he gets all serious and really stays in all the lines really well, coloring tiny things different colors. He does a great job. J is doing well too, she is very interested in art and writing. She can almost write her name and knows many of her letters.

I can see that many of the neighbors have their lights up still, I guess it is still early, but it kind of cracks me up to see big lit up santas and reindeer now that we in in January. I find it even funnier when I see houses lit up well into February, which we have many around here. Yes, it does get cold and I can understand not wanting to take down the lights just yet, but do they have to be ON??? :)

My decorations are down, except our 3 new nutcrackers ( the kids would not part with them just yet, they love them!) and my mantle is still decorated with pointsetta's and some candles. But nothing Christmassy is left, and I feel great about it. I love to set it up but I'm fine with it being over each year.

Now we have B's birthday to plan. 6 years old. Wow! We have already started the guest list and I must get invites out in the next week or 2. Trouble is, he wants to invite everyone. I mean EVERYONE he knows! He is such a people person and has so many friends. It is cute, but where do I draw the line??

Well, off to ride the bike, REALLY!

The Beginning........

What I did well today:

• I bought a journal, and actually wrote in it! The old fashioned way with real paper and pen!
• I did not overeat!
• I did ride the stationary bike for 15 minutes! (starting out slow as to not burn out)
• I bought 2 cute scarf type things (not even sure how to wear them) on clearance that I would never typically buy myself! I think they are to be worn as a belt, or in hair like a head band, or around neck.... One is black with some sequins and one is a peach color with cool beads on the ends. They were $2.48 each at 75% off!
• I did not snack after dinner.
• I played a game with the kids, and it was even educational!
• I did not lose my temper.
• I did not fight with my husband, even once, today!
• I made a nice meal for dinner!
• I just pet my dog :) (thanks for the comment, you know who you are!) :)

Things I could improve on:

• I thought about food a lot, I'm really trying to get over this obsession but having trouble. Been reading the Dr. Phil book, but not sure it's sinking in....

I feel so happy when I have a good day. I feel proud of myself. I am not sure what makes me (or others out there) sabatage ourselves and be bad when we know we feel so much better when we are good (most of this pertains to food and working out, but can also relate to everything else in our lives). I wonder what makes humans do things that make them upset. We sure are a complicated creature! :)

Good night!

New Year. New Me. Lifestyle Makeover 2006!

Jan 1, 2006. Wow, can't believe that it is 2006! I will be turning 32 this year. Young by many standards but still I am getting older. I truly am a woman now, well into my 30's and no turning back. I am not a kid anymore, and I need to start treating myself like the person I want to be. I have to give to myself what I give to others. I deserve to be a happy, strong, confident woman. There are several areas of my life that I want to improve upon. There are also many things that I love about my life. This year, 2006, I would like to:

• Get in better shape by exercising more regularly. I would like to aim for using the stationary bike 3 times a week, and by summer be able to walk the 3 mile loop 3-4 times a week.
• Eat a more balance diet including more fruit, vegetables, and less junk food (cut WAY back on chips and chocolate/dessert foods)
• Eat smaller portions, using weight watcher points as a guide
• Do things for my well being, like getting a pedicure, buying something for myself, spending a day alone or with friends, drinking tea to relax etc etc...
• Spend more quality time with my children each day. Do something of their choosing each day.
• Treat my husband like the best friend that he is. Treat him with kindness, respect, and dignity, even when he doesn't deserve it! :)
• Pet my dog each day (she sometimes gets ignored in our busy lives!)
• Call my grandma's more often
• Love myself

I know many of these sound very generic and it is hard to really change something without specifics. I hope to make small changes amount to bigger ones. I hope to find the strength within myself to dream big, to do what I set out to do, and to make these changes in my life for good so that I don't have to live with any regrets as each year passes. I will not live another year unhappy with parts of my life. I will start out this year loving myself and being the woman I was put on this earth to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!