My Other Half

As I was looking through pictures on my computer, I found this one of my husband and I. I thought about it, and realized I rarely talk about him on my blog, and should do a post about him. I also realized that I have very few pictures of the 2 of us together. We used to get our picture taken all the time when we were first dating, but now I'm always the one behind the camera. So, we really need to work on that. At our church directory pictures, we ordered a trio of pictures where there is one of the kids at the top, the 4 of us in the middle, and the 2 of us at the bottom. I'm so glad we did that, and can't wait until it arrives (should get here sometime this week). I really love the pictures and especially the one of just the 2 of us. I really do think we make a cute couple!!! It is hard sometimes to make time for each other, but my husband truly is my best friend. We have been through so much together and our lives are so busy, but we really are happiest when we are together. I hope he always knows how much he means to me. So, here is a blog posting dedicated to my other half, my better half.

My First Week and Other News

I am done with my first week of nursing school. Sometimes I feel like I have such a LONG way to go. 2 years of this. Of going to school every other weekend. That is such a sacrifice. I realized this last weekend when my family went to a wedding, that my daughter was IN, and I was in class from 8am - 4pm each day. Can we say depressing???? But I handled it fine, we made it through, and I now am committed to this. I can do it. I want this. I really do think this is what I want to be when I grow up. It better be!!!

Besides my life consuming education, we are facing some changes with the kids' school starting here in the next couple weeks. B has his open house Thur night and we will meet his teacher and see his classroom. He is nervous, like he was last year, but once he is there he does fine. He is such an outgoing and funny kid, he gets along with everyone. First grade will be a big change going every day, but I hope he will handle it fine.

J has her visiting day at preschool next Friday. She will have no problem with preschool, as she went last year and loves new experiences and people. For a baby who hated anyone but me, she sure has turned out to be an extrovert. Funny how both my kids seem to be quite extroverted, when I am the opposite. Sometimes I have a hard time relating to them, they are so unlike me. But that makes it all the more fun, when your kids actually have personalities of their own! I always thought they would be "little me's" but boy was I wrong. Even my daughter who looks quite a lot like me, is a little spitfire personality. And my son, he is everything I wish I was. Really. I sometimes can't believe they are mine.

I am officially a nursing student

I started classes on Monday. I have a busy first week since we have weekend class this Sat and Sun. I had class 3 hours on each monday and wednesday nights, and will have class from 8am to 5pm on Sat and Sun. I will have every other weekend off. The program seems organized and the teachers seem great so far. There is a LOT of work, a lot of reading, tests, papers, labs, etc. Clinicals will start in October. I am nervous for that, but will worry about it when the time comes. I just can't believe I am actually in the nursing program. I have been preparing and thinking about this for almost 3 years now. It seemed so far away and now I have started. I'm sure it will go very fast. It will be tough and at times I am sure I will be thinking I was crazy. But I still do think I made the right decision to switch careers and start a new path. I hope it is what I have been hoping for!!!

Body Image

I am finally getting to a point where I am liking my body a little bit better. I am very hard on myself and even though I am not overweight I still have not liked my body much since I've had kids. Heck, even before kids I was not really impressed by it! Maybe us women are never really in love with our bodies, but we should be! We should be proud of what they can do and the babies they have birthed and the hurtles they have crosses. With age, bodies change. What was perky and hard in our teens are getting softer and saggier. This is inevitable. I will probably never love my breasts, they are on the bigger side and aren't perky in the least bit. I have never liked my stomach. I don't mind my legs and arms. I have worked hard on my health this summer. I have been eating much better and exercising. I have lost almost 10 lb since May. I have never lost that much before this year. I am hoping that I will not go back to the weight I was in May. I have always struggled, but I am doing better than ever. I think going back to school will keep me busy and keep my thoughts away from food. I fear I won't exercise enough but I will try my best to keep some sort of exercise in my life. I know I'm a happier person when I'm a healthier person. I want to be around for a LONG time for my kids and my family. I owe them and ME a long and healthy life.

Is it just me???

I can't be alone in how I feel lately about my kids. I love my kids more than anything. I think they are beautiful, funny, smart, amazing kids.... BUT they have been driving me crazy. As I am a stay at home mom, I am with them a lot. Probably too much. I feel like I am constantly telling them to stop doing that, stop fighting, don't do this, put that down, no you can't play video games again today, etc etc. I think they have a pretty good life. They have millions of toys, activities planned for them a lot of the time. They have a mom who plays with them and takes them places they like to go. A house full of things they like and activities to do. I sometimes feel like they are ungrateful and do not even know how much they have or how lucky they are. I think that a lot of kids do not know how good they have it, mine included. I don't like feeling like the mean mommy, the one who is always on them to stop doing things, and punishing them. I feel like it is too negative lately, that I am crabby a lot lately. I don't like it. I have a lot of guilt about it. I know that they have it good. I am not a bad mom. I just am human and I can't be happy all the time even though I wish I could. My son has just started to get into video games, and I swear he is obsessed. I let him play about 1 hr a day max. Well, he was having trouble falling asleep at night, so I told him yesterday that he couldn't play. ( I wanted to see if he would get to sleep better- he did). All day he was asking about it. I just wanted to set the law and him to drop it. He wouldn't. I was getting frustrated with him. I did try again today to let him play for about 30 min, and he again was having trouble falling asleep. Any suggestions??? Ban the video games??? Permanantly? It is so hard in today's society, where it is the norm for all kids to be into video games. I know it is stupid, but I don't want him to be the odd one out for not playing or having them. I was going to buy him a gameboy for Xmas this year, because it is the thing that EVERYONE has. But I know that is not the right reason to buy him one. I think it is the part of me that still wants to fit in. I was a very shy kid, and didn't feel like I fit in, and I don't want my kids to feel that way. Therefore, I tend to let them be like the other kids. Basically spoil them. Anyway, so I'm torn on the video games. That has been driving me crazy with him. And my daughter has been so bossy with me lately. She really thinks she runs the show. She orders people around and wants her way, and if she doesn't get it, she has a meltdown. She is 4, and I expect more from her. She can be very sweet and loving one minute and be sobbing and screaming the next if something isn't going her way. I know, part of that is normal but it still can get old after a while. I just sometimes feel like I am doing something wrong. I have major mommy guilt. I don't want to feel guilt, I just want to know I'm doing my best and that my kids are learning something good from me. I want to be a good example and show them how to be good kids and good people. This parenting thing is tough....

Vacation Bible School and Misc. Thoughts...

If you haven't sent your kids to vacation bible school, you should consider it. My kids just love it. I love it. Everyone who is involved loves it. It is a time of bonding, learning, playing, and singing. And boy do they sing. Picture 400 kids, preschoolers to 5th graders, along with about 140 teen/adult volunteers, all in a big room jamming. It gives me goosebumps. The kids just have a blast. They are tired at the end of the week, but they remember it all year. This is my second year working, B's second year, and J's first year.

B had 2 cavities filled yesterday. Bummer.

J had her second gymnastics class last night. Loves it.

Had National Night Out last night in the rain at a neighbors. Wasn't going to go but I changed my mind and glad I went. It was nice to talk to some people I don't talk to enough. Nice to bond with neighbors and watch kids play in the rain, splash in all the puddles, and laugh. It was calming to me, brought me back to when I was a kid and we knew and played with all our neighbors. I want that for my kids. It isn't as easy today with many parents working long hours and many families with weekend cabins that aren't around much.

I start school in 19 days. I can't even believe this. Where has my summer gone. I still have so many things I want to do. I know this is not the case, but I feel like life as I/we know it will never be the same. Of course it will change, but it's not like I'm being locked up for 2 years. I will still have some sort of a life (I hope).

Oh, that reminds me, I ordered my text books from a big online retailed who also has a marketplace where independent sellers can sell their books. Bad idea! Two of the books never showed up. I emailed the sellers multiple times with NO response AT ALL. One seller doesn't even seem to have a valid email. I am so mad. I even had emailed with one of them before I ordered with some questions, and they were happy to reply to me then, but now they won't respond. I think I can get my money back, but that will take me hours on the computer to get the complaint filed and then I still have to find a way to get the books. I did this so I wouldn't have to go to the school bookstore and pay full price. And now I have to do just that because I need them in 19 days. Never again will I do that. I do not recommend it. I am so mad just thinking about it.

I am off to play with B, since J is at a friends house.